Fist of Zen - FAQ

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

It is unknown which brand of latex suits was destroyed here. Due to most types cost each many 100EUR but the show is ultra low cost, a cheap serial product can be expected. Closeup views of the armpits reveal that it seems to be a model of seamlessly dipped latex, because the only visible glue seam is vertically at the front across the chest, where apparently for increase of stretchability the zip was removed and then the rims were glued together overleaping (likely with rubber cement). The entry apparently was done through the stretched neck opening, for which plenty of white powder was applied (likely talc, which after burst left a dust cloud and white residues on the candidate's underpants). Because unlike classic trance suits these are not built as double skin inflatables, each suit was in the simplest manner glued with black adhesive tape to arms, legs and neck of the candidate to seal it. Especially the neck opening was reinforced with a large area of of the tape (about 35*35cm), because here was apparently the weak spot of the construction (it loosened for a short time in episode 17 and partly 19). Possibly it loosened due to silicone oil on the latex; at least in episode 17 the suit was quite shiny. For inflation a black plastic funnel was ducttaped to the suit butt, at which backward pointing tip the compressed air hose was connected. It likely lead to a quite large red "Clarke rebel" construction site compressor (which was visible in the dress rehearsal "ZOO does Fist Of Zen" on YouTube). Unlike the rest of the suit, the lower legs did not expand at all, and at the transition to the expanding section a sharp boundary was visible. Apparently there a layer of transparent foil (cling wrap?, or adhesive film?) was wound around to prevent loosening of the sealing adhesive tape at the leg ends when the legs partly inverted. Strange is why this awkward construction was chosen at all, since the only known suits of dipped latex (manufacturer Shiny Skin, retail price 99EUR and up) come already in the cheapest commercially available version with integrated airtight socks. (It is unknown whether these were cut off during preparation by accident or for using them elsewhere or if an even cheaper version without exists.)

On YouTube adamsym (apparently candidate Adam-S San from episode 9) wrote that he wore the suit and that dress-up helpers mentioned that another candidate even got serious nipple injury from the gimp suit burst. Likely this was Marc-San from episode 17, who had a square gauze patch on his right nipple during the final challenge.

quote adamsym: "Yeah ok it's me in the gimp suit lol. It didn't hurt that much but the team of guys talcing me up ans wqueezing me into it told me? about another guy who need hospital for nipple stiches after he did it! I was lucky."

The mortal remains of some black suits apparently were reused as rubber bands for the "Bare Chest Braces Snap" and "Giant Rubber Band Face Twang".

In episodes with as well "Gimp Suit Burst" as "Tongue Obstacle Course" (except episode ?1) the candidates during the latter also had to lick at a pile of talc powder.

Worth to mention is, that also the original predecessor "Silent Library" from the show "Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!" featured shiny black rubber suits. However these were not destroyed but used to dress up the punishers those there spank candidates. Imaginable is that also the suits in "Fist of Zen" were originally ordered for this purpose to imitate "Silent Library" exactly.

the "Harness of Keemosan"

In the final test of each episode the candidates have to don the "Harness of Keemosan", that was attached to the penises (with women to their breasts). It was pulled with a twine string at it while the group had to solve skill test together. (If it fails, they loose the cash prize.) If people find this bad is a matter of squareness, however many people muse what this mysterious harness looked like. According to candidate James from episode 3 (so far I understand him correctly) it was simply a loop of string and some (adhesive?) tape. In the TV show it looks like when the Zen master pulls at the strings through his "magical fountain of Ling Wee". Genuinely 5 helpers were sitting in the room (1 per candidate) to pull them.

___________

film locations

The film locations of the show (1st season) are not mentioned in the end credits. They are all in England (writings, building styles) and supposingly all in the environment of London.

the church:

It is the chapel "All Saints Friern Barnet" in the London borough of Barnet, which is not used as a church anymore. Since 1980th it is used as a venue for activities like theatre, concerts or even wrestling. The facade of the chapel is made of grey rubble masonry. It has a transept, relatively small windows, a pointed belfry and looks very ancient.

c/o All Saints Arts Centre,
122 Oakleigh Rd North,
London N20 9EZ.
http://www.barnetarts.org.uk

the museum:

It is the Bromley Museum in the London borough of Orpington, which is housed in the historical monastery building (Priory from 1290). The Facade consists of grey rubble masonry. The architecture is gothic with vaulted ceilings. The floor tiles form a large chessboard pattern.

The Priory,
Church Hill,
Orpington, Kent BR6 0HH
http://www.bromley.gov.uk

the retirement home:

There is outside a sign "Orchard Lea - Car park for Orchard Lea ... and visitors only". It is the "Ramsay Orchard Lea retirement village", an old people's home with multiple houses in Sawbridgeworth, Hertfordshire. The room is the reception, which can be watched as a virtual 360° view on their website. (Click on "View the homes"; the rear view from the "Lounge" shows near the ceiling even the strange wide wood window in the room.)

Ramsay Orchard Lea
High Wych Road
Sawbridgeworth CM21 OAB
http://www.ramsayorchardlea.co.uk

the library:

It is the "Morden Library" in the civic centre of the London borough of Merton. The Civic Centre is a large multi-purpose concrete building from 1962. Above the entrance (episode 7) stands "Welcome to LONDON BOROUGH OF MERTON - CIVIC CENTRE".

Morden Library, Merton Civic Centre,
London Road,
Morden, SM4 5DX.
http://www.merton.gov.uk/learning/li...ries/molib.htm

In the "Newsletter of the Society of Chief Librarians for England, Wales and Northern Ireland" (SCL News Autumn 07.doc) stands, that here the pilot episode was filmed.

quote: "MTV at Morden Library - Morden Library has been selected as the ideal location for a new pilot program to be aired later this year on MTV. On 19 April MTV shot the pilot episode of a new comedy game show called "Fist of Zen", which requires the contestants to complete rituals in utter silence. It was an exciting and enjoyable day for the public who were intrigued and entertained in an unusual way whilst browsing for books!

The pilot show has been a success and MTV have returned to shoot further episodes."

the art gallery:

In the intro you can see an old industrial building of red bricks. Above the entrance (door in a glass brick wall) is a yellow sign with dark letters beginning with "BEYON". However it is not the gallery, but a huge shopping center for second hand clothing of the name "BEYOND RETRO" in the Cheshire Street of London. I was told by e-mail that the intro scene with the graffiti shows the corner Grimsby Street E1 and another scene shows the Brick Lane/Shoreditch - a very trendy part of London.

The gallery itself is unidentified. The room has a strange irregular wood floor with repaired areas (a rectangular wood board was inserted ahead to the left), white walls and at the front 2 old iron rung windows with semicircular top arch. The right front door has an illuminated "Fire Exit" sign above. Near it hangs a fuse box with visible electric lines. In the right window stands a glass picture with a dark circle in a dark wood frame (like of a gong). In front of the front wall stand 3 dark objects. The left one may be an upright loudspeaker box. The middle one may be a showcase of dark brown wood on a leg of prim wood; it has a glass pane on top. White doors are to the front at the left and right wall. To the left is a large pop-art painting in graffiti style (mainly black, white, yellow, red). There is a row of pictures of wavy distorted city motives (skyscrapers, tower of Pisa etc. - like skyline reflections in the water). In a showcase to the right lies a pink imitation of a cut off hand (cut surface is white) among colourful small balls (candies?, partly bitten off?). In another showcase is a white cube with blue vertical line in the center of each side. To the front of the right wall hang 2 pink paintings (nude in water-colour?) and one with a yellow object (rose blossom?, fried egg?, a rock with a black tree growing through??) on a black background (possibly with dark tree branches). Further back hangs a neon text of several capital letters in different colours (blue T, red A, yellow N, ...?). In front of the room sat a red haired elderly guardswomen; she had on her jacket a sign with text in handwritten letters those may form the gallery name ("Allegro"?, "Bellege"?, or just "Gallery"?); below were several unreadable small words.

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

not plausible in London are
- Alma Enterprises (too modern concrete block)
- Barbican The Curve (too modern renovated rooms)
- Between Bridges (grey floor, wrong windows)
- Belford Craft Gallery (wrong windows)
- David Risley Gallery (concrete floor)
- Flaca (grey concrete or PVC floor)
- Hauser & Wirth London (brown windows)
- Herald St (concrete floor)
- IBID Projects (too modern, concrete floor)
- Maureen Paley (too modern, concrete floor)
- Parasol Unit (too modern)
- Rich Mix Center (industrial building, too modern renovated rooms, wrong windows?)
- Seven Seven (apparently concrete block)
- Somerset House - Embankment Galleries (in castle =>unlikely)
- Southbank Centre: The Hayward (modern concrete block)
- Tate Modern (old industrial building, too modern renovated rooms)
- The Brick Lane Gallery (only 2 large rooms, wrong layout)
- Transition Gallery (concrete floor)
- Victoria Miro 14 (too modern renovated, mostly concrete floor)
- White Cube, Hoxton Square (wrong windows)
- Whitechapel (wrong windows, only large halls?)
- The Approach (extremely similar floors, but layout and windows don't match)

plausible are
- The Old Trueman Brewery (old industrial building)
- The Wapping Project (old industrial building, barely renovated)

___________

candidates

Like in a cult all candidates in the show got religious names, consisting of a short name followed by "San" and a slightly longer, usually joking alias title. Thus identification is difficult so far they don't out themselves or got outed on the internet. The enshrouding names likely also serve the purpose of avoiding embarrassment, however since the faces remain uncovered, it can not really be called an anonymization (especially due to picture search engines like "Riya" will make progress).

According to the report of one candidate* beside the possible cash prize no additional (pain redemption) money was paid. But at least the candidates were treated well, got a meal and their travel cost paid and were informed about everything correctly. There was no cheating. But they did not see the Zen master during the filming and did not even know that it would appear later. The filming of an episode took in reality about 4h. This candidate did not regret his participation. He told me that he and his group of friends even had much fun, because they also privately play similar pranks with each other. They apparently realized it as a harmless fun. The participants were recruited through ads on the website www.starnow.com.

*) Thanks to guitarist James of the rock band Canine Feline; he participated in episode 3 as "James-San".
http://www.myspace.com/caninefeline

___________

Fist of Zen - episode guide

Season 1

The here used numbering and original summary ("MTV description") of the episodes stems from the English MTV Overdrive website. Due to it lacks 2 episodes (16 and 20), they are here listed as "?1" and "?2" because it is unknown which is which one. However this numbering does not correspond to the original filming order, because some episodes with higher numbers apparently show older versions of the employed torture instruments (e.g. the onion glasses with big funnels) than those with lower numbers. Also the announcer of the German language version was apparently replaced several times, because the pronunciation in apparently older episodes sounds boring or overly theatric.

However episodes can be identified fastest using the origins of the teams, because in opposite to the numbers they are announced at the beginning of each show.

numbering

The German numbering appeared only initially sometimes in the airtime of the old MTV.de website and teletext. It was very confusing and not visible in the broadcast itself. It was impossible to know which episode was really shown, so plenty of it may be wrong. E.g. in 2007-11-17 the German episode 20 was announced, but it came 17.

English vs German:

1 = 3
4 = 13
5 = 15
6 = 17
7 = 1
9 = 16
10 = 9
13 = 18
14 = 7
18 = 19
19 = 19 ?
?1 = 8
?2 = 10

Also the Canadian version has apparently this numbering. On MTV.ca are still images of 20 episode numbers visible, those have strong similarities with the German numbering. There are many typos in that episode description and at the Canadian episode 12 stands "library" despite the only matching episode (English 19) took place in the museum.

English vs. Canadian:

1 = 3
2 = 2
3 = 6
4 = 13
5 = 15
6 = 17
7 = 1
8 = 5
9 = 16
10 = 9
11 = 20
12 = 4
13 = 18
14 = 7
15 = 11
17 = 14
18 = 19
19 = 12
?1 = 8
?2 = 10

These apparently correspond more to the actual filming order, because episodes with here lower numbers have unprofessional German language lip sync and the clumsy onion glasses with large funnels this way correspond to episode 1 (likely the pilot episode). Also episodes with following numbers this way would take place mostly at the same location (2x library, 6x church, 2x library, 4x museum, 2x art gallery, 4x retirement home). So the following filming order can be approximately concluded.

filming order vs. English:

1 = 7 Kingdom of Cambridge
2 = 2 City of London
3 = 1 Kingdom of Middlesex
4 = 12 Queendom of Brighton
5 = 8 Kingdom of Kent
6 = 3 Kingdom of Norfolk
7 = 14 Distant region of Kent
8 = ?1 Principality of Norfolk
9 = 10 Realm of Kingston
10 = ?2 Fiefdom of Kidderminster
11 = 15 Far away land of Surrey
12 = 19 Kingdom of Nuneaton
13 = 4 Kingdom of Portsmouth
14 = 17 Kingdom of Derbyshire
15 = 5 Principality of Hertfordshire
16 = 9 Kingdom of Hertfordshire
17 = 6 Kingdom of Essex
18 = 13 Kingdom of Lincolnshire
19 = 18 Kingdom of London
20 = 11 Kingdom of Peterborough

The show features many absurd words of the Zen master and narrator, those usually intend humiliation of the candidates. Most of them are primitive gross comedy or banal machismo dealing with potency, genitals and excrement or scold male candidates as little girls or sissies. Others are meaning-devoided and often cynically twisted Buddhist statements. The following list only contains some extraordinary sayings of the Zen master in English language. (I have only access to the German language version, where the narrator speaks German. Its Zen master remained English with only German subtitles.)


episode 1

MTV description:
Four Balloon Burst Pants | Lard Ice Cream Cone | Thirty Rubber Band Face Twang | Sixty Second Electric Star Draw | Thirty Second Burp Breath | Ba

The Fist of Zen has been sent to seperate the weak from the strong, the wheat from the chaff, the prawn balls from the beef dumplings..

location:
church

origin:
Kingdom of Middlesex

team:
- Adam-San alias Lady Killer
- Jack-San alias Boy Band
- Kevin-San alias The Twig
- Smithy-San alias Size of a Boy
- AJ-San alias Size of a Bear

tasks:
- 4 Balloon Burst Pants
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- 30 Rubber Band Face Twang
- 60s Electric Star Draw (star on large glass pane)
- 30s Burp Breath
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- 10 Scalextric Face Crash (red cars)
- 30s Salty Nose Blow
- 4 Hug Nettle Shirt
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch

extremely nasty:
Salty Nose Blow (with "fizzing salts" = bath salt), 4 Hug Nettle Shirt

words of the Zen master:
"A wise man once said something. I didn't listen - I didn't need too!"

note:
Candidate AJ-San is tall and black.


episode 2

MTV description:
Sixty Second Three Onion Chew | Thirty Rubber Band Face Twang | Twenty One Fish Slap Salute | Winds Of Pain | Four Flipper Spank | Tongue Obstacle Course | Balloon Collar | Four Hug

Watch the Zen master train another batch of weary westerners with some hilariously painful stunts.

location:
library

origin:
City of London (north)

team:
- Rami-San alias Teen Wolf
- Jon-San alias Ginger Spice
- Dan-San alias Heart of Darkness
- Ian-San alias Sex Pest
- Mark-San alias The Ferret

tasks:
- 60s Three Onion Chew
- Fat Man Sandwich (sumo squeezers)
- 30 Rubber Band Face Twang
- 21 Fish Slap Salute (with machine)
- Winds Of Pain (= Spicy Helmet Head Tank)
- 4 Flipper Spank
- Tongue Obstacle Course
- Balloon Collar
- 4 Hug Nettle Shirt
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch

extremely nasty:
4 Flipper Spank, Nettle Shirt, Winds Of Pain

substances:
Winds Of Pain = {chilli powder & black pepper}

words of the Zen master:
"Well done... Your gentleman snakes were weak like worms... Now they are strong like cobras."

note:
German narrator voice sounds different and unprofessionally read from a sheet. Candidate Mark-San wears a Hulk T-shirt.

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

episode 3

MTV description:
Six Scalextric Face Crash | Tongue Obstacle Course | Thirty Second Rolling Plug Bed | Thirty Second Electric Tea Set | Eight Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss | Eight Slap Fish Face | Four Cuts And A Dunk | Th

Here's a third helping of more hillarious, cringe-worthey Zen action. Get involved.

location:
church

origin:
Kingdom of Norfolk

team:
- James-San alias Pork Chop
- Nicy-San alias Wet Wipe
- Michael-San alias Fun Bags
- Luke-San alias The Fiddler
- Gavin-San alias Die Hard 2

tasks:
- 6 Scalextric Face Crash
- Tongue Obstacle Course
- 30s Rolling Plug Bed
- 30s Electric Tea Set
- 8 Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss
- 8 Slap Fish Face
- 4 Cuts And A Dunk
- 30s Tramp Brew (made from sock)
- 45s Burp Breath
- Serpent Snatch - eggs juggling (with chopsticks into eggcups)

extremely nasty:
Tramp Brew, 4 Cuts And A Dunk

note:
The plugs on the Plug Bed are American. The candidate was wrapped into kitchen foil and rolled over it. Instead of 30s it ended already after 23s (once forward and back). During the "Tongue Obstacle Course" initially there was a white area (talc powder?) visible instead of the vindaloo paste; likely the closeup picture was cut in from an unfinished board. Participant "Michael-San" had sore arms (particularly visible during the final challenge, cause is unknown).


episode 4

MTV description:
Two Sandbag Bulldog Clip Rip | Three Chilli Chew | Balloon Collar | Toothpick Bookcase Stack | Giant Ru

Here's another dose of the Zen Master's guide to wisdom and spiritual harmony, including bare bottom flipper spanks, giant rubber face twangs and lot's more Fist of Zen madness.

location:
museum

origin:
Kingdom of Portsmouth

team:
Louis-San alias Delia Smith
Calvin-San alias Dough Boy
Ricky-San alias Flower Child
Ben-San alias The Wall
Adam-San alias Sleeps With Fishes

tasks:
- 2 Sandbag Bulldog Clip Rip
- 3 Chilli Chew
- Balloon Collar
- Toothpick Bookcase Stack
- Giant Rubber Band Face Twang
- 4 Flipper Spank
- 60s Electric Star Draw (on small glass pane)
- 30s Sandpaper Bicycle
- 30s Lego Wrestle
- Serpent Snatch - lemon chain

extremely nasty:
Flipper Spank, Sandpaper Bicycle

brain damaging:
Toothpick Bookcase Stack

words of the Zen master:
(after "Bulldog Clip Rip"): "I once did this with actual bulldog attached to my body. I was trying to impress a Zen mistress at that time. Woof!"

note:
The German narrator was possibly changed. Before "Bulldog Clip Rip" there were already marks on the body. The Sandpaper Bicycle left bloody weals. When after Lego Wrestle the wrestler left the museum, 2 school kids (about 10 years old?) came into the door and watched. During the final challenge only 1 lemon reached the goal bowl, but after the team had won this way, suddenly the bowl contained 2.


episode 5

MTV description:
Eight Slap Fish Face | Thirty Second Rancid Milk Syringe | Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck | Toothpick Bookshelf Stack | Thirty Second Electric Tea-Set | Pressurised Bottle Bottom Rocket | Fou

The Zen master returns with some more hillarious silnet stunts to be performed in public. Enjoy!

location:
art gallery

origin:
Principality of Hertfordshire

team:
- Luke-San alias Shandy-Boy
- Vinny-San alias Super Size Me
- Dan-San alias Shag-A-Delic
- Chris-San alias Prawn Balls
- Scotty-San alias Tanga Briefs

tasks:
- 8 Slap Fish Face
- 30s Rancid Milk Syringe
- Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck
- Toothpick Bookshelf Stack
- 30s Electric Tea-Set
- Pressurized Bottle Bottom Rocket
- 4 Elbow Carpet Burn
- 4 Balloon Burst Pants
- 2 Leg-Wax Winch (duct tape depilation)
- Serpent Snatch - lemon chain

brain damaging:
Toothpick Bookshelf Stack


episode 6

MTV description:
Twelve Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss | Three Chilli Chew | Giant Rubber Band Face Twang | Pressurised B

The weary zen students keep coming back so the Zen Master keeps dishing out the stunts. So for more silently performed acts of physical and emotional degredation here's the Fist of Zen.

location:
retirement home

origin:
Kingdom of Essex

team:
- Lee-San alias Lager Top
- Chris-San alias Two Tone
- Jamie-San alias Wind Up
- Luke-San alias Fire Starter
- Nick-San alias Fatty

tasks:
- 12 Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss
- 3 Three Chilli Chew (green, round)
- Giant Rubber Band Face Twang (made forehead weals)
- Pressurized Bottle Bottom Rocket
- 8 Slap Fish Face
- Electric Teapot
- False Teeth Liquid Lunch
- 3x Bread Loaf Catapult (into face)
- Bulldog Clip Rip
- Serpent Snatch - ducks fishing

brain damaging:
Bread Loaf Catapult

note:
German version possibly had a different narrator with theatric voice.


episode 7

MTV description:
Thirty Second Onion Glasses | Balloon Collar | Five Flavour Stink Box | Electrically Chargred Baby | Ten Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss | Four Flipper Spank | Fat man

Onion glasses, flipper spanking and a five flavour stink box... Looks like another round of hillarious Fist of Zen antics.

location:
library

origin:
Kingdom of Cambridge

team:
- George-San alias Boy-Band
- Tristan-San alias Hairbrush
- Owen-San alias Altar-Boy
- Kenny-San alias Late-Night-Lover
- Jacko-San alias The Stick

tasks:
- 30s Onion Glasses
- Balloon Collar
- 5 Flavour Stink Box
- Electrically Charged Baby
- 10 Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss
- 4 Flipper Spank ( =>weals)
- Fat Man Sweaty Thump (thump sucking)
- 30s Nose Lager
- 3 Cuts And A Dunk
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch

extremely nasty:
5 Flavour Stink Box, Flipper Spank, Nose Lager (beer into nose), 3 Cuts And A Dunk

substances:
Stink Box = {stinky socks, smelly fish, dirty nappy, rancid cheese, rotten eggs}
3 Cuts And A Dunk = {aftershave, lemon juice, vinegar, salt}

note:
German narrator had different voice (boring). The onion glasses had big funnels and also the other players wore goggles. Candidate Jacko-San possibly did Gimp Suit Burst in episode ?1 or 14.


episode 8

MTV description:
Sixty Second Electric Star Draw | Full Plate Wasabi Crackers | Spicy Helmet Head Tank | Bare

Take one group of weary young westerners, one wise old zen master, 10 of the wildest stunts you've ever seen and have them performed silently in publc and what you have is the Fist of Zen.

location:
church

origin:
Kingdom of Kent

team:
- Scott-San alias Housewives Choice
- Keith-San alias Dragon Master
- Barry-San alias Asbo Hero
- Brian-San alias The Weasel
- Robert-San alias Kingsize Pastie

tasks:
- 60s Electric Star Draw (small glass pane)
- Full Plate Wasabi Crackers
- Spicy Helmet Head Tank
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- 45s No Spew Beard Pasta (eat noodles out of bum beard)
- 9 Party Popper Face
- 2 Can Nose Lager (beer into nose)
- 30s Onion Glasses
- Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch

extremely nasty:
2 Can Nose Lager, Spicy Helmet Head Tank

note:
The final test failed. During Party Popper Face the candidate here was protected with swim goggles and ear plugs.


episode 9

MTV description:
Tongue Obstacle Course | Two Sand Bag Bulldog Clip Rip | Dual Vacum Nipple Suck | Pressuris

The great wise Zen master is back again to give another lesson in Eastern philosophical wisdom with such ancient techniques as the 'dual nipple suck' and 'pressurised bottom rocket'. Enjoy!

location:
art gallery

origin:
Kingdom of Hertfordshire

team:
- Carlie-San alias Post Op
- Adam S-San alias Pre Op
- Adam R-San alias Green Bud
- Emile-San alias The Tantrum
- Dan-San alias Hot Pants

tasks:
- Tongue Obstacle Course
- 2 Sand Bag Bulldog Clip Rip ( =>wounds bleed)
- Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck
- Pressurized Bottom Bottle Rocket
- 4 Flipper Spank
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- 45s Burp Breath
- 45s Gimp Suit Burst (black suit)
- Electric Teapot
- Serpent Snatch - passing balls by mouth

extremely nasty:
Flipper Spank

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 45s black

note:
The final test failed. This episode the first time included a (quota-?) woman as a candidate. The "Harness of Keemosan" was attached to her nipples instead of the "serpent". The candidates threw the lot balls at each other for fun; it showed up that these are of lightweight hollow plastic and not billiard balls.

words of the Zen master:
(after Bulldog Clip Rip) "Bulldog clips were often used by ancient torturers - eh to hold their nuts while they torture people." (after Gimp Suit Burst) "Ha ha ha - I don't know how doing that makes you a Zen master, but it sure is funny to watch."

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

episode 10

MTV description:
Thirty Second Burp Breath | Two Cactus Cannon | Thirty Rubber Band Face Twang | Eight Slap Fish Face | Lard Ice Cream Co

Ever eaten a lard ice cream cone? how about inhaling nothing but pure burp breath for 30seconds? No, well these guys have. Welcome to the world of Fist Of Zen.

location:
library

origin:
Realm of Kingston

team:
- Olu-San alias Beef Dumpling
- Jason-San alias Angel Delight
- Michael-San alias Beat-Box Lover
- David-San alias Boogie Nights
- Wola-San alias Spandex Ranger

tasks:
- 30s Burp Breath
- 2 Cactus Cannon
- 30 Rubber Band Face Twang
- 8 Slap Fish Face
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- 20s Wedgie Winch
- Electric Star Draw (on glass pane)
- Mini Cowboy Lego Rodeo
- Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch (string at hardhat funnel)

extremely nasty:
Cactus Cannon (many pricks in the body!!!)

brain damaging:
Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack

note:
All candidates were black - possibly a hiphop band (one had the nickname "Beat-Box Lover").


episode 11

MTV description:
Bare Chest Braces Snap | Forty Five Second Electric Tea pot | Twenty Sandpaperr Towel Rub | Full Plate Wasabi Crackers | Twenty Trampoline Hai

The Zen Master returns with another batch of weary westerners to maime and humiliate with outrageous challenges. This is the Fist Of Zen!

location:
retirement home

origin:
Kingdom of Peterborough

team:
- Greg-San alias The Don
- Matt-San alias Baby Face
- Mike-San alias Crazy Legs
- Lee-San alias Milk Tray
- Hayden-San alias The Mullet

tasks:
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- 45s Electric Tea Pot
- 20 Sandpaper Towel Rub (sandpaper strips in towel, body was sprayed wet)
- Full Plate Wasabi Crackers
- 20 Trampoline Hair-Pull (trampoline with duct tape on a canopy above)
- False Teeth Liquid Lunch (denture tea)
- Pressurized Bottom Bottle Rocket
- 20s Face Car-Wash
- 45s Gimp Suit Burst (black suit)
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch (string at hardhat funnel)

extremely nasty:
20 Sandpaper Towel Rub

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 45s black


episode 12

MTV description:
Thirty Second Onion Glasses | Five Flavour Stink Box | Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck | Electrically Charged Baby | Three Bread Loaf Catapult | Thirty Rubber Band Face Twang | Five Wasabi So

Come see some more of the Zen Master's silent rituals of pain and humilation on the Fist Of Zen.

location:
church

origin:
Queendom of Brighton

team:
- Will-San alias Goat Boy
- Simon-San alias She Eagle
- Jamie B-San alias Repeat Offender
- Luke-San alias Jelly Tot
- Jamie W-San alias Slow Dance

tasks:
- 30s Onion Glasses
- 5 Flavour Stink Box
- Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck
- Electrically Charged Baby
- 3 Bread Loaf Catapult (at neck, belly)
- 30 Rubber Band Face Twang
- 5 Wasabi Soldiers
- 4 Balloon Burst Pants
- 4 Flipper Spank
- Serpent Snatch - eggs juggling (with chopsticks into eggcups)

extremely nasty:
5 Flavour Stink Box, Flipper Spank ( =>weals on butt)

substances:
5 Flavour Stink Box = {dirty nappy, rancid cheese, stinky socks, putrid kippers, rotten meat}

note:
Apparently the German speaker was changed. During 4 Balloon Burst Pants a red balloon slipped out of the pants and apparently was not put back =>apparently only a yellow and blue balloon did burst. In 5 Wasabi Soldiers the candidate hesitated unusually long after the first bit before he cancelled.

words of the Zen master:
(after Stink Box): "Congratulation Simon-San. You did well to resist tucking into those tasty delicatessens. I can never resist a nappy - the trouser chocolate is quite delicious."


episode 13

MTV description:
Two Door Thigh Whack | Forty Five Second Electric Fishing Rod | False Teeth Liquid Lunch |

It's another round of Fist Of Zen madness with some more weary westerners having their dignities shredded by games like: 'False Teeth Liquid Lunch' and the 'Bare Chest Braces Snap'. Enjoy!

location:
retirement home

origin:
Kingdom of Lincolnshire

team:
- Tom-San alias Wild Cat
- Alex-San alias Artist formerly known as Prince Harry
- Matt-San alias Gothika
- Jonny-San alias Hearthbreaker
- Thomas-San alias The Pig Farmer

tasks:
- 2 Door Thigh Whack
- 45s Electric Fishing Rod (pink rubber ducks)
- False Teeth Liquid Lunch
- 30 Rubber Band Face Twang
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- 3 Bread Loaf Catapult (into face)
- 3 Cuts And A Dunk
- Two Legs Wax Winch (carpet adhesive tape depilation)
- Serpent Snatch - passing ping-pong balls by mouth

extremely nasty:
3 Cuts And A Dunk

brain damaging:
Bread Loaf Catapult

substances:
3 Cuts And A Dunk = {Aftershave, Salt, Vinegar, Lemon Juice}

note:
The ball count during the final challenge was cheated.


episode 14

MTV description:
Thirty Second Electric Tea-set | Tramp Pasta Kiss | Eight Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss | Bare Chest Braces Snap | Thirty Second Burp Breath | Sixty Second Gimp Suit B

It's time for another load of pain, humiliation and gross out hilarity that you could only expect from the: Fist Of Zen.

location:
church

origin:
Distant region of Kent

team:
- Babs-San alias Prince Charming
- David-San alias Chic Geek
- Sam-San alias Absinthe Hero
- Thomas-San alias Hairless Wonder
- Huggy-San alias Super Size Yeti

tasks:
- 30s Electric Tea-set
- Tramp Pasta Kiss (eating a long noodle mouth to mouth)
- 8 Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- 30s Burp Breath
- 60s Gimp Suit Burst (black suit)
- 8 Scalextric Face Crash
- 30s Rancid Milk Syringe
- 4 Flipper Spank
- Serpent Snatch - eggs juggling (with chopsticks into eggcups)

extremely nasty:
4 Flipper Spank

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 60s (Despite 60s the suit stretched less than in episode ?2. The black underpants were possibly of latex.)

words of the Zen master:
(after Gimp Suit Burst) "When I first set the challenge, we didn't use a suit - we just inflated the skin..."

note:
German narrator seems to be different (more aggressive/ theatric voice).


episode 15

MTV description:
Bare Chest Braces Snap | Full Body Sandpaper Frisk | Full Plate Wasabi Crackers | Three Cuts and a Dunk | Eight Slap Fish Face | Tw

The Zen master has a few more hilarious challenges up his sleeves including: 'Thirty Second Onion Glasses' a 'Full Body Sandpaper Frisk' and more...

location:
museum

origin:
Far away land of Surrey

team:
- Matt-San alias Gut Rocket
- Ashley-San alias Walks With Pigs
- Dom-San alias Man Of Stilts
- Dan-San alias Kebab-Legs
- Garry-San alias Tassle Boy

tasks:
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- Full Body Sandpaper Frisk
- Full Plate Wasabi Crackers
- 3 Cuts And A Dunk
- Eight Slap Fish Face
- 2 Door Thigh Whack
- Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack
- 30s Burp Breath
- Gum Shield Rubber Band Face Twang
- Serpent Snatch - passing balls

extremely nasty:
3 Cuts And A Dunk

brain damaging:
Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack

substances:
3 Cuts And A Dunk = {lemon juice, salt, aftershave}

note:
The ball count during the final challenge was cheated.


episode 17

MTV description:
Lard Ice Cream Cone | Door Slam Bulldog Clip Rip | Thirty Second Lego Wrestle | Eight Scalextric Face Crash | Two Door Thigh Thwack | Bare Braces Chest Snap | Electrically Charged Baby | Gum-Shield Rubber Band T

Welcome to another dose of pure unadulterated Fist of Zen madness...

location:
museum

origin:
Kingdom of Derbyshire

team:
- Paul-San alias The Snake
- Brett-San alias Try Hard
- Marc-San alias Mug Shot
- Adam-San alias Hulk
- Shane-San alias Mutant Turtle

tasks:
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- Door Slam Bulldog Clip Rip
- 30s Lego Wrestle
- 8 Scalextric Face Crash
- 2 Door Thigh Thwack
- Bare Braces Chest Snap
- Electrically Charged Baby
- Gum-Shield Rubber Band Twang
- 45s Gimp Suit Burst (black suit)
- Serpent Snatch - lemon chain

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 45s black

words of the Zen master:
"All you need to be a real city boy is a pin stripe suit with real pins. I heart the 80th...". However this text came before the Electrically Charged Baby instead of Gimp Suit Burst.

note:
During Gimp Suit Burst the adhesive tape at the neck loosened during inflation, however one scene later it was fixed again. Apparently the film was cut together. Initially the suit was quite shiny; possibly there was silicone oil on it, which prevented the adhesive tape from sticking properly. During the final challenge one candidate had a square white gauze patch on his right nipple (apparently cut injury by Gimp Suit Burst - mentioned by adamsym on YouTube).

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

episode 18

MTV description:
Forty Five Second Electric Fishing Rod | Thirty Second Onion Glasses | Giant Rubber Band Face Twang | Mustard Custard | Balloon Collar | Pressurised Bottom Bottle Ro

Here's another crazy installment of the maddest stunts conducted in silence you'll ever see. It's the Fist Of Zen.

location:
retirement home

origin:
Kingdom of London

team:
- Brady-San alias Pork Chop
- Michael-San alias The Sheep
- Jamie-San alias Cover Band
- Simon-San alias Happy Feet
- Andy-San alias Home-Grown

tasks:
- 45s Electric Fishing Rod (pink rubber ducks)
- 30s Onion Glasses
- Giant Rubber Band Face Twang
- Mustard Custard
- Balloon Collar
- Pressurized Bottom Bottle Rocket
- 30s Face Car-Wash (made from 2 electric drills)
- Bulldog Clip Rip
- 5 Flavour Stink Box
- Serpent Snatch - eggs juggling (with chopsticks into eggcups)

extremely nasty:
5 Flavour Stink Box

substances:
5 Flavour Stink Box = {stinky socks, rotten eggs/ bad eggs, smelly fish/ putrid kippers, rancid cheese, dirty nappy}

note:
Before Bulldog Clip Rip there were already some marks on the body.


episode 19

MTV description:
Thirty Second Electric Star Draw | Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack | Two Door Thigh Thwack | Ten Scalextric Face Crash | The Thirty Second Onion Glasses | Giant

Welcome back to the wonderful world of the Fist of Zen with all the pain, humillation and gross out stunts you'll ever need.

location:
museum

origin:
Kingdom of Nuneaton

team:
- Ben-San alias Hello Dolly
- Stuart-San alias The Chimp
- Amy-San alias Black Spleen
- Jamie-San alias Face Meat
- Mark-San alias Silent But Deadly

tasks:
- 30s Electric Star Draw
- Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack
- 2 Door Thigh Thwack (board broke)
- 10 Scalextric Face Crash
- 30s Onion Glasses
- Giant Rubber Band Face Twang
- Full Body Sandpaper Frisk
- 45s Gimp Suit Burst (black suit)
- Tongue Obstacle Course
- Serpent Snatch - passing ping-pong balls by mouth

brain damaging:
Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 45s black

words of the Zen master:
(after Gimp Suit Burst) "Well done Stuart-San, but do not attempt to puncture inflated people in the street. They are simply obese, and will try to assault you - or eat you."

note:
One candidate was a women (Harness of Keemosan attached to her nipples). During Gimp Suit Burst the adhesive tape at the neck finally loosened a bit at the corners.


episode ?1

MTV description:
unknown

location:
church

origin:
Principality of Norfolk

team:
- Asher-San alias The Fiend
- Jamie-San alias Smell The Glove
- Adam-San alias Turtle's Head
- Josh-San alias Flying Without Wings
- Rob-San alias Cheese Board

tasks:
- Electric Star Draw
- 5 Wasabi Crackers
- Spicy Helmet Head Tank
- Tramp Brew (made from sock)
- 8 Party Popper Face
- Tongue Obstacle Course
- Onion Glasses
- 45s Gimp Suit Burst (red suit)
- 8 Slap Fish Face
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch

extremely nasty:
Spicy Helmet Head Tank, Tramp Brew

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 45s red

substances:
Spicy Helmet Head Tank = {chilli powder, black pepper}

words of the Zen master:
(after Gimp Suit Burst) "It is said that the man who bursts the gimp suit is a man of great courage - either that or is a fat gimp."

note:
During "Party Popper Face" the candidate wore swim goggles however no protective ear plugs. During "Gimp Suit Burst" the adhesive tape at the neck loosened a bit. During "Tongue Obstacle Course" initially there was a white area (talc powder?) visible instead of the vindaloo paste; likely the closeup picture was cut in from an unfinished board (same picture like in episode 3?).


episode ?2

MTV description:
unknown

location:
library

origin:
Fiefdom of Kidderminster

team:
- John-San alias Top Shelf
- Daniel-San alias Teachers Pet
- Andrew-San alias Driving Miss Daisy
- Spencer-San alias Cue Ball
- Lee-San alias Splash Back

tasks:
- Electric Tea Set
- 8 Party Popper Face
- 3 Chilli Swallow (eating, not just chewing)
- Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack
- 45s Gimp Suit Burst (red suit)
- Onion Glasses
- 5 Flavour Stink Box
- Mini Cowboy Lego Rodeo
- 30s Wedgie Winch
- Serpent Snatch - eggs juggling (with chopsticks into eggcups)

extremely nasty:
5 Flavour Stink Box

brain damaging:
Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 45s red

substances:
5 Flavour Stink Box = {dirty nappy, rancid cheese, putrid fish, stinky socks, rotten meat}

words of the Zen master:
(after the final challenge): "You have run out of time, you clowns! Now you must return to your day jobs as cowboy, policeman, construction worker, native American and biker." The jobs are an allusion to the gay disco band Village People, which made the hit 'YMCA'.

note:
The final test failed. During "Party Popper Face" the candidate wore swim goggles however no protective ear plugs. The eggs in the final challenge were raw; some fell down and the candidates soiled each other with them. During Gimp Suit Burst the suit here was inflated bigger than all the others =>it reached oval down to the feet. This is the only episode with Gimp Suit Burst before the advert break.

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

Since September 2008 on MTV.de they searched for new candidates to be illtreated. The e-mail addresses of the casting page ended on ufa.de, which hinted to the German movie company UFA. The whole thing looks like an act of desperation, because according to press releases from the end of 2008 MTV was so bankrupt that as an emergency measure they fired 60 employees and cancelled the production of all own editorial contents. In opposite to these however "Fist of Zen" looks so cheaply produced that even a flop would unlikely cause high costs. So the decision to continue of all this pulp series raises the impression that by falling viewer count the TV station is possibly in its last throes.

Season 2

The 2nd season consists of 15 episodes and was filmed by the UFA Entertainment GmbH in Germany.

differences

The money is now in Euro (100 per task) and the background tunes are partly different. The Zen master looks different and seems to be another actor, however their are still some old clips with Peter Law present; also the intro with him stems from season 1 without any changes. The new Zen master has a different English voice (sounds boring and high pitched like from a bad kung-fu movie) and his words often sound uninspired and less funny. Also the German language announcer was replaced again and sounds unprofessional.

By the first impression the series looks slightly mitigated with less bodily assault and machismo. E.g. in the electric shock games they now visibly use instead of the homemade device a professional TENS device (modern with LCD, intensity knob and electrode patches on the arm) - possibly also to prevent kids from trying such things with socket current. The Harness of Keemosan doesn't exist anymore (they now pull at the head instead of penis) and instead of placing only individual female candidates into male teams, now 4 complete women teams were recruited. Most of the worst tasks from season 1 have been abandoned or eased and you see barely any blood anymore. However the very brutal cactus cannon still exists and was even performed 4 times in this season.

Generally everything has be redesigned in a more fancy and funny style; e.g. colourful fancy dresses are worn (chicken costume for holding hot eggs, Chinese female helpers in Chinese dresses during tea tray weight lifting etc.) and in the task "Rawhide Roundup" a candidate in cowboy costume on a spring rider rocking horse only had to reach and graps cloth cows with his arms and throw them into a basket, which was neither overly painful nor disgusting and could have been part of any other gameshow. The lot box has now the shape of a big golden fist, out of that 5 black Chinese fans are drawn. When unfolded, 4 of them show the picture of a white fist, the 5th a red fist that flips the bird.

The final challenge "Manchurian Marshmallow Munch" were copied from the German TV series "Elton vs. Simon - Die Show" from 2008 by Pro7 (which itself had previously imitated some tasks from season 1 of Fist of Zen).

producers

UFA description (German):
http://www.ufa.de/index.php/Produkti...1015388/back/0

Fist of Zen
im Auftrag von MTV

Format Show
Länge in min 30'
Produktionsfirma UFA Entertainment GmbH
Drehzeit 01.12.2008 - 29.01.2009
Drehort deutschlandweit
Produzenten Harry Goering
Executive Producer Michael Beck
Produktionsleiter Simon Zielke
Herstellungsleiter Andreas Wamsler
Pressebetreuung Kristian Müller


further description with 15 photos (church from episode 2.4):
http://www.bluewin.ch/de/index.php/7...aennerbaeuche/

The initial German trailer of season 2 was cut together from several episodes of this season and was accompanied by the song "Schau Schau" by Selig from the album "Und endlich unendlich". From 2009-05-13 on they showed the old trailer of season 1 agaon; only the meaningless word "new!" was finally removed. Possibly the new trailer was withdrawn because the musician Selig considered the show too inhuman and didn't want to be advertised this way. In 2009-05-27 they showed another new trailer with scenes of season 2, accompanied by synthetic gamelan chinking and siren tones. The 2. broadcast was here a repeat of episode 2.1.

Strange is also that the end credits were cut away everywhere. It is unknown whether this should enshroud a sinister secret or simply save 25 seconds of broadcast time for more advertisement profits. (Most other MTV shows don't lack end credits.) In 2009-05-20 after the 1st broadcast they apparently accidentally showed the end credits of that episode. It revealed e.g. that the 2nd season was made by UFA using a concept by Monkey Kingdom.

end credits:

• Zen Master: Peter Law
• Voice Over Artists: Nawroz Abbany, Shaun Lawton
• Writers: Nawroz Abbany, Adrian Kennedy, Jens Teutsch-Majowski
• Camera Operators: Henning Brümmer, Sven Fackler, Kai Glawe (DOP), Damir Kis, Jens Patzold, Rüdiger Rang, Anja Schultz, Mirek Strzelecki, Rüdiger Rang
• Sound: Lars Hörberg, Philipp Salle
• Editors: Sebastian Diergardt, Dominik Eisele, Thomas Golüke, Thomas Krause, Reiner Montag, Moritz Steinkohl, Thomas Wedekind
• Props: Linda Wotke
• Mechanical Effects: Brainnail
• Motion Graphics: Rocket Studios
• Casting Director: Katharina Strauss
• Production Manager: Franziska Gehrling
• Production Coordinator: Anne Londershausen
• Associate Producer: Markus Rogenhagen
• Producer: Isabell Hayn
• Series Producer: Ilona Bublitz
• Executive Producer: Michael Beck
• General Manager: Harry Goering
• MTV Executive Producer: Christian Michel
• MTV Head of Development: Stephan Schwarzer
  
  UFA Entertainment
  Format by Monkey Kingdom Ltd.
  An MTV Networks International Production
  ©MTV Networks Europe 2009. All rights reserved.

In 2009-05-24 the same episode was shown with end credits again, and as 3rd broadcast they first time showed an episode from season 1 again (with end credits). The TV magazine TV-Movie mentioned the 2nd season only in issue 8 from 04-11 (wednesday 15th april) despite it was broadcast since issue 7 from 03-28. In 2009-04-29 the MTV logo in the top left screen corner advertised something like "NOW WHOLE EPISODES FIST OF ZEN ON MTV.DE" In 2009-10-23 on the Fist of Zen page of MTV.de the link to the comment, photo and video page disappeared (despite the pages are still there). Instead there is now a weblink to the iTunes store for pay download of episodes. On 2010-03-18 the last episode (only mentioned in teletext) was cancelled, and the comment page is now empty (weblinked to Facebook); since then in teletext there was no new broadcast date mentioned anymore. Later came many repeats of both seasons, where at the end the 2nd season ran mainly in late night TV while the 1st was broadcast already about 20:00 (but less often).

irregularities

Also in season 2 was apparently some cheating involved, or at least were pictures cut together in different order. Particularly the red stains on the body after the "Tennis Ball Ace Accelerator" and the count of still hanging marshmallows in the "Manhurian Marshmallow Munch" changed in unplausible order. Also film locations were manipulated.

___________

film locations

The film locations of season 2 mostly include English language paper signs with request for silence, those look like mock-ups placed for the show. Generally it looks like when they cheated a lot and placed additional props (see "airport lounge").

the airport lounge:

Outside on the airport one can se a radar tower with red revolving antenna on a white concrete towert with red horizontal line. In the building is a supermarket with red illuminated sign "REISEMARKT" (travel market). Walls are tiled white. On the ceiling is e.g. a sign "Terminal 2, Airport Plaza" (yellow on blue).

However everything that follows is pure cheating. They show the so-called "business lounge at the airport" with a big white sign "Airport Lounge". In the background is a white wall with a strange round gateway to a bar (the bar table is illuminated red, behind it is a red illuminated glass shelf). To the left in a corridor hangs an orange sign "<- Gate 14-15". Below it is at the wall a small flatscreen; on it was on white on violet the text "Please Note: Silence-Section! Thank You!"; on the upper screen area were small empty text fields for indicating the next flight (in German and English language). To the right is a white reception; behind its counter stood a stewardess and at the wall behind is a sign of big white letters "E_ELFET..." (2nd character and rest was covered). At the left wall seems to be a file shelf. But never the less, in reality this room is not inside any airport.

It is an anteroom room before the Orange Lounge inside the "Edelfettwerk Hamburg", a club disco with bars and restaurants, that is located in a former magarine factory building from 1930th. Airport signs and screen were artificially installed for the show; only those white letters on the wall appear to be real and spell "EDELFETTWERK".

Edelfettwerk Entertainment GmbH & Co
Schnackenburgallee 202
22525 Hamburg
+49 (0) 40 / 30 03 32 70
http://www.edelfettwerk.de/

Here you can see the anteroom clearlier:
http://www.support-catering.de/html/edelfettwerk.php

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

the chess club

unidentified. In the environment are boring precast concrete slab towers with grey rough gravel concrete walls (lower floors painted yellow, balconies red) those look like from German Democratic Republic. In the chess club hang a poster with text "Silence Please!, Game Running!". The room has white walls with hanging chess boards (light brown/ dark brown), posters of chess stones and pictures of white chess stone icons on blue background (like road signs). On the parquet floor is a large floor chess board. There are rectangular modern wooden tables and such chairs. The white concrete ceiling has some beams.

The location of the chess club is unknown, however the UFA asked in several internet forums for a large chess room in Berlin/ Brandenburg to make a 3 days film shooting. Apparently also a club in Hamburg replied, however the requested ceiling height (above 3.20m) was too low.

the art gallery:

unidentified. Outside in a park there is a row of 5 concrete torsos with strange heads (e.g. flower pots). The outer wall is of red bricks full of ivy. On it hangs an abstract sheet aluminium sculpture. The anteroom has red walls. There hangs a grey modern fuse box. In the gallery on the wall was a paper sign "Quiet Please!". On the white walls are modern large scale paintings with figurative fantasy motives, those include much landscape (e.g. nightly forest, waterfalls, skyscrapers etc.) There are black iron lattice windows with small panes like in an old factory. The floor is grey (concrete or PVC).

the church:

unidentified. The church is medium size, built with outer walls of beige brick Gothic. I guess it to be 100 to 200 years old. The entrance portal is white. The walls inside are yellow with gothic arcs etc. of grey stone. The floor consists of beige clinker tiles those form on the aisle a characteristic woven pattern of light and reddish dark clinker tiles those have a slightly waved shape. Some windows have rhombic transparent bull's eyes panes in white frames. In the hall are delicate white stairs and columns with arcs. On the floor are many foldable chairs of light wood with blue cloth padding and a round handle hole in the backrest. On one was a white paper sign "Silentium" (in latin "silence"; in later episodes it was on the door). There is a small pointed arc niche with blue ceiling and there are wrought-iron flambeaux standing on the floor. On the walls are some small bronze signs. At the left side stands a rather small bronze crucifix. The gothic vaulted ceiling is light blue. Down from it hangs a yellow star shaped lampion (christmas decoration?).

There are neither church benches nor a real altar visible, which (like in episode 1) hints to a reused church room.

the library

unidentified. The library is in a modern concrete building (university or the like). On the fore court in front of it is to the left a shrubber and to the fron a glass fascade. The entrance door has a green metal frame. Inside there are many multi volume books in white modern shelfs. The floor is bluish grey. The chairs are light wood. Tables have a light wood top (likely imitation) on black thin metal legs.

the uni auditorium

unidentified. On the university court there is an old brick building with window arcs etc. Inside the uni are old vaulted corridors with white walls those have red tiles on the lower half. In it is a wooden red door to the auditorium (with cardboard sign "Do not disturb, Examination in progress"). The auditorium is furnitured in old, plainly ornamented brown wood. There are a stair-shaped arranged seats with folded tables on brown wood floor. Above it is a kind of wide balcony with further seats. At the front is an old teacher's desk and the green blackboard. The walls are white and have at the sides radiators hidden under wooden white covers. The floor is green.

___________

Fist of Zen - episode guide

Season 2

In season 2 the origin of the teams is not mentioned anymore. So only the candidate's nicknames can be used for episode identification. The final challenge was successfull in all of them.

The episode numbers formatted like "2.x" were made by me and correspond to the German initial broadcast. However the numbering of the 7 episodes those were initially watchable on German MTV.de was basically the same, thus they seem to be correct. Apparently in some places episodes are also 3-digit numbered, where the leading '2' indicates the season and the remaining 2 digits the episode.

The old video page of MTV.de showed the following episode names.

Fist Of Zen 2 Folge 1 ( = 2.1)
Fist Of Zen 2 Folge 2 ( = 2.2)
Fist Of Zen 2 Folge 3 ( = 2.3)
Fist Of Zen 2 Folge 4 ( = 2.4)
Fist Of Zen 2, Folge 5 ( = 2.5)
Fist Of Zen 2, Folge 6 ( = 2.6)
Fist Of Zen, Folge 207 ( = 2.7)

Strange is that the German video paysite Maxdome calls the 2nd season "Staffel 1" (season 1) and apparently offers only 11 of the 15 episodes. According to photos and description at least their numbers seem to be the same:

Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 1 ( = 2.1)
Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 2 ( = 2.2)
Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 3 ( = 2.3)
Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 4 ( = 2.4)
Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 5 ( = 2.5)
Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 6 ( = 2.6)
Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 7 ( = 2.7)
Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 8 ( = 2.8)
Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 9 ( = 2.9)
Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 10 ( = 2.10)
Fist of Zen - Staffel 1 - Folge 11 ( = 2.11)


episode 2.1

location:
airport lounge

team:
- Andre-San alias Still Waters
- Michi-San alias This Year's Model
- Sinchi-San alias The Bullock
- Olaf-San alias The Dark Side
- Tino-San alias Hospital Food

tasks:
- 45s Foaming Rabies Ritual (keeping 3 fizzy tablets in the mouth)
- False Teeth Liquid Lunch
- Electric Texting (TENS electrodes on the arm + mobile phone)
- Rawhide Roundup (throw cloth cows into basked from a spring rider toy horse, wearing a cowboy costume)
- Three Chilli Swallow (lengthy, red)
- Four Flipper Spank (no blood)
- Bare Chest Braces Snap (2 white rubber ropes on a metal pipe frame)
- Four Hair Nostril Pluck
- 60s Taoist Teatime Torture (lifting 2 trays while tea is poured in)
- 60s Manchurian Marshmallow Munch (eat them from threads while head tied to a column by rubber ropes)

words of the Zen master:
"If bear poops in forest, and no one there to smell poop... does it indeed smell?" (This is an allusion to the book "Cybernetics" by the Master Norbert Wiener, who asked there the great question whether a message exists at all when it is not received by anybody.)

note:
The words of the Zen master were partly related to the airport venue, however they were rather banal. The Bare Chest Braces Snap here now used white round rubber ropes; the performing candidate had black, cross shaped patches on the nipples - possibly to minimize risk of injury.


episode 2.2

location:
chess club

team:
- Alexia-San alias Thousand Veils
- Raha-San alias Wind Of Change
- Julie-San alias Legs Eleven
- Claire-San alias Pearl Diver
- Miriam-San alias Angel of Mercy

tasks:
- 30s Bugs Blouse (locusts inside transparent foil shirt)
- Cheesy Chai Challenge (tramp brew)
- Electric Power Pout (lipstick + TENS electrodes at arm)
- 30s Onion Glasses
- Rawhide Roundup
- Hot Eggs of Chi Kee (holding 4 hot eggs in hands on chicken costume on a balance board)
- Full Plate Wasabi Cracker (5 Cracker)
- Five Liver Lick (lick at raw liver)
- Double Goat Foot Torture (2 goats lick feet)
- 60s Tantalising Tights Torture (hit light switch on punching ball whith head while tied to column by tights mask (each candidate 1x on an off))

substances:
Double Goat Foot Torture = feet smeared with {jam, curd, muesli} ot the like

note:
All 5 candidates were women. In "Cheesy Chai Challenge" the clothing of the tramp looked so extremely shredded and dirty that it was certainly a fabricated prop; possibly it was smeared with something like cream cheese to intensify smell. Also the brewed sock was extremely shredded. The Onion Glasses here had at its sides 2 big red funnels, those were filled using blue chopsticks.

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

episode 2.3

location:
art gallery

team:
- Andreas-San alias Fruit Fly
- Firat-San alias Baguette Boy
- Patrick-San alias The Ogre
- Muna-San alias Blazing Arroe
- Stephan-San alias Master of Mayhem

tasks:
- 60s Hot Top Swap (out of a cooking pot of hot water)
- 30s Onion Glasses
- Four Pita Catapult (Bread Loaf Catapult with wet flatbread)
- Dogs' Dinner (dog licks liver sausage off the face)
- Quad Remote Control Nutcracker (RC car with blue boxing glove races at undies with bullseye target on genitals)
- Electric Texting
- Four Cactus Cannon
- Three Chilli Swallow (red, lengthy)
- 45s Taoist Teattime Torture
- 60s Tantalising Tights Torture

extremely nasty:
Cactus Cannon

note:
The "Dogs' Dinner" failed, because the labrador refused to lick more than half of the meat paste off the face. The Pita Catapult (new Bread Loaf Catapult) employs a pan that hangs on bike tube rubber bands between 2 branches to fire at the body wet soaked flatbreads. Due to these usually mash into pulp by the impact of the hit, the risk of injury by head hits looks lower than with the old Bread Loaf Catapult.

The Cactus Cannon here fired by rubber bands 4 round cactuses with pot out of an acryl pipe (with inner grey pipe as piston) at the upper body. Although the candidate's nipples were protected with star shaped patches and the velocity was low (cactuses trundled), it can be expected that also here pricks remained in the skin, although by the leck of closeup pictures they could be only estimated. The task was rated as passed, despite the candidate uttered several weak pain screams.


episode 2.4

location:
church

team:
- Ansgar-San alias The Horrible
- Pablo-San alias Termite (deutsch geschrieben)
- Reen-San alias Squeaky Clean
- Maximilian-San alias Goblet Of Fire
- Tim-San alias Direct Debit

tasks:
- Fat Man Sandwich (2 wrestlers, 1 had a tattoo)
- 30s Dumbo Machine (stone weights pull at ears)
- Three Chilli Swallow (red, lengthy)
- 45s Taoist Teattime Torture
- 45s Foaming Rabies Ritual (keeping 4 fizzy tablets in the mouth)
- Four Tennis Ball Ace Accelarator (shoots 4 balls at upper body)
- Electric Calligraphy ("FIST OF ZEN" on glass pane with TENS)
- Four Pita Catapult (candidate wore protective goggles)
- Bee Honey Dive (head diving in honey bowl, fetch 3 balls by mouth)
- 60s Chang Chung Cherry Harvest (fetch balls with mouth out of cream pies on spinning table and drop them into bowl, rubber rope pulls at bicycle helmet)

note:
With the tennis ball cannon red stains on the body suspiciously appeared only after the 2nd ball. Either they made a pause before filming the 2nd ball (so the skin could turn red) or they cheated with theater makeup, because strange is that also all balls had red stains from begin on, which makes me suspect that these were possibly covered with makeup to fake red skin spots, which didn't work. The candidate wears protective goggles and jockstrap. In "Bee Honey Dive" the candidate wears a ridiculous bee costume with a childish bee figure mounted on a yellow swimcap. For distraction artificial eyeballs float on the surface of the honey bowl.


episode 2.5

location:
library

team:
- Don-San alias Terrapin Jacknife
- Judith-San alias Blonde Ambition
- Fanny-San alias The Concubine
- Vanessa-San alias Sweet'n'Sour
- Domitila-San alias War Without Tears

tasks:
- Tramp Pasta Kiss (eat 2 noodles mouth to mouth)
- Ow Chi Lego Skip (5x rope skipping on lego pieces)
- 15s Dumbo Machine (stone weights in total 2.165kg, green clips)
- Marble Mousetrap Mayhem
- Balloon Collar
- 30s Hot Wax Monsoon (3 red candles drip on belly of lying candidate, wears goggles)
- Tennis Racket Face Squash (head in crank vice between 2 tennis rackets)
- 60s Bug Blouse (locusts)
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- 60s Tantalising Tights Torture

note:
All 5 candidates were women. In "Marble Mousetrap Mayhem" marbles had to be fingered out of mousetraps, those were inside an acryl box with a wobbly wine glass pyramid on top. By the shock it collapsed =>failed. In "Tantalising Tights Torture" they only showed switching the light switch on, not off.


episode 2.6

location:
uni auditorium

team:
- Marco-San alias The Eagle
- Nicola-San alias Silent Running
- Gerals-San alias Honeyman
- Darius-San alias Chip Shop Elvis
- Marc-San alias Hunk Of Love

tasks:
- 30s Dumbo Machine (stones weight in total 1.5kg, black clips)
- Dogs' Diner (meat paste jar, dog is light brown retriever)
- Hot Eggs of Chi Kee (without costume, 4 eggs)
- Full Plate Wasabi Crackers (10 crackers, failed)
- Five Nanking Nose Nemesis (stop electric table fan with nose)
- Four Cactus Cannon
- Quadruple Buttock Bash (sledge hammer with boot swings in rack at butt)
- Electric Teatime (pour tea in with TENS at the arm)
- Fu Manchu Fatman Buffet
- 60s Chang Chung Cherry Harvest (different mini pies with cream)

extremely nasty:
Cactus Cannon

substances:
Fu Manchu Fatman Buffet = {Tabasco Sauce, Old Fish Sauce, Garlic Puree, Cat Food, Cigarette Ash}

note:
In "Hot Eggs of Chi Kee" no costume was worn, thus it may be a pilot episode. After the Cactus Cannon visible thick pricks stuck in the body. One cactus hit the neck. The "Fu Manchu Fatman Buffet" is the successor of "Tongue Obstacle Course"; as the ground they now use a lying fat man decorated with vegetables, from thats body disgusting substances have to be licked. The tasted cigarette ash now contains no buds anymore - likely also to prevent imitating kids from eating these poisonous things.


episode 2.7

location:
chess club

team:
- Essa-San alias Wailing Wall
- Max-San alias Buffalo Warrior
- Felix-San alias Scissorhands
- Justin-San alias Extra-Terrestial
- Ousman-San alias Double Trouble

tasks:
- Hot Eggs of Chi Kee (30s, 4 eggs)
- Snot Lolly Lick (eat red lolly that was dipped into the tramp's nose)
- Foaming Rabies Ritual (3 fizzy tablets)
- Four Pita Catapult (crumbled little)
- Electric Gardening (pour ewer into flower vase with TENS on arm, gardener costume)
- Bare Chest Braces Snap (black cross patches protect nipples)
- Four Cactus Cannon (red heart stickers on nipples)
- Quad Remote Control Nutcracker (formula 1 racing car)
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- 60s Chang Chung Cherry Harvest

extremely nasty:
Cactus Cannon (visible pricks in body)

note:
For the Quad Remote Control Nutcracker they this time used a formular 1 car with blue boxing glove. The remote control signal made interferences in the microphone tooting like morse code; after that the sound was continued by the appearing Zen master (who phoned with mobile phone) as flute tones of equal pitch. The team won the maximum possible prize of 900€.


episode 2.8

location:
airport lounge

team:
- Arya-San alias Volcano
- Sascha-San alias The Ox
- Christoffer-San alias Love Rat
- Maik-San alias Bogeyman
- Bilen-San alias The Rock

tasks:
- Three Nanking Nose Nemesis
- Two Sandbag Bulldog Clip Rip (2x 3 clips)
- Bee Honey Dive (3 balls)
- Electric Calligraphy ("FIST OF ZEN" on glass pane)
- Tennis Racket Face Squash (15s)
- Fu Manchu Fatman Buffet
- 30s Hot Wax Monsoon (3 cylindric candles red, blue, black)
- Rawhide Roundup
- 30s Gourmet Grub Lunch (4 living earthworms)
- 60s Tantalising Tights Torture

substances:
Fu Manchu Fatman Buffet = {Old Fish Sauce, Garlic Puree, Cigarette Ash, Tabasco Sauce, Cat Food}

note:
During "Nanking Nose Nemesis" the "brrrt" noise seemed to be artificial (a fart sample?). During "Gourmet Grub Lunch" the candidate apparently indeed chewed the worms and had attempted to swallow them (which failed); after 30s he disgustedly spit out the rests. Apparently he was only intended to hold them in mouth alive, because after that the Zen master spoke: "Well done Maik-San, but you are not supposed to eat them!" During "Tantalising Tights Torture" the light bulb flickered or flashed strangely - possibly by bad contact.


episode 2.9

location:
library

team:
- Joshua-San alias Grasshopper
- Holger-San alias Dambuster
- Gozzy-San alias The Saviour
- Ran-San alias Puppy Love
- Chong-San alias Sage And Onions

tasks:
- Four Flipper Spank (2 flippers yellow-black, 2 white-black)
- Dental Danger Torture Table (hanging on ones teeth by biting into a handle (plastic hose) while lying on a fatted tilting ramp)
- Bare Chest Braces Snap (silver "+" patches on nipples)
- Tramp Pasta Kiss (spaghetti, failed by disgust)
- Four Hair Nostril Pluck
- Quad Remote Control Nutcracker (formular 1 car with camera)
- Pepper Pain (suck 4 pepper grains into nostril and drop them on other plate)
- Dogs' Dinner = die Hundetafel (meat paste jar, wire-haired dachshund?)
- Full Plate Wasabi Crackers (9 crackers, failed after 2)
- 60s Manchurian Marshmallow Munch

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

episode 2.10

location:
art gallery

team:
- Alexander-San alias Smalltown Hero
- Soenke-San alias Red Devil
- Torben-San alias Swiss Cheese
- Christian-San alias Tornado Of Wrath
- Heiner-San alias The Sabre Of Sorrow

tasks:
- Quadruple Buttock Bash
- False Teeth Liquid Lunch
- Hot Eggs of Chi Kee (no costume, 6 eggs =>dropped =>failed)
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- Ow Chi Lego Skip
- 30s Gourmet Grub Lunch (with chopsticks, hold about 5 living earthworms in mouth)
- Electric Soup (TENS at arm, eat tomato soup)
- Double Goat Foot Torture (black-white goats refused to lick =>failed)
- Three Nanking Nose Nemesis
- 60s Manchurian Marshmallow Munch

note:
During "Manchurian Marshmallow Munch" the count of still visible marshmallows on threads changed; first they were several times 5, then 2 and finally 0 =>either they cheated or at least the film was cut together unchronologically.


episode 2.11

location:
airport lounge

team:
- Kristina-San alias Walnut Whip
- Lara-San alias Eye Of The Storm
- Jennifer-San alias Mace Wielder
- Valerie-San alias Sword Of Destiny
- Natalie-San alias Flashmob-Fury

tasks:
- Three Nanking Nose Nemesis
- False Teeth Liquid Lunch
- Rawhide Roundup
- Three Snowball Banquet (eat 3 snowballs, with pink wool cap, from a silver mini fridge)
- Electric Texting (text "This really sucks, Zen Master")
- Hot Eggs of Chi Kee (chicken costume, 4 eggs)
- Tennis Racket Face Squash
- Three Chilli Swallow (lengthy, red)
- Bee Honey Dive (bee costume with yellow-black stripy foil dress)
- 60s Tantalising Tights Torture

note:
All 5 candidates were women.


episode 2.12

location:
uni auditorium

team:
- Sebastian-San alias Sting Of A Viper
- Kamil-San alias Fort Knox
- Kebin-San alias Kosher King
- Gamal-San alias Prince Among Men
- Alex-San alias Hardcore

tasks:
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- Nasi Goreng Nasal Nightmare (blow through hose 4x snuff into nose)
- Double Goat Foot Torture (lightly coloured goats, yughurt + dry goat food)
- 60s Hot Top Swap
- Quadruple Buttock Bash
- Ow Chi Lego Skip (5x)
- Tug-Of-Tongue Torture (on rolling board, about 2m far)
- Electric Texting
- Four Tennis Ball Ace Accelarator
- 60s Tantalising Tights Torture

substances:
During "Nasi Goreng Nasal Nightmare" the powder blown into nose came out of an orange, square plastic bottle with blue text "Mc Craig, ROYAL snuff", thus supposingly it was snuff (tobacco).

note:
Apparently the German language announcer was different. Also the background music was poorly cut together from pieces of the 1st season. Thus it may be a pilot episode. In "Tug-Of-Tongue Torture" The candidate was sat on a rolling board, while a woman attempted to pull him with a white wool glove at the tongue about 2m far, which failed by pain (or roll resistance?). During "Tennis Ball Ace Accelarator" the candidate wore no nipple stickers and his underpants had a printed bullseye target (like from "Remote Control Nutcracker"); he was shot on upper body. The balls partly had red stains. After the 1st shot suddenly red stains appeared on his upper body, those intensity and count in closeups changed several times - apparently the pictures were cut together in random order.


episode 2.13

location:
chess club

team:
- Philipp-San alias Hard Knocks
- Matthias-San alias Last Man Standing
- Dominik-San alias The Spider
- Parham-San alias The Timelord
- Marcus-San alias Blind Date

tasks:
- 30s Foaming Rabies Ritual (3 fizzy tablets)
- Rawhide Roundup
- 45s Hot Top Swap
- Four Cactus Cannon
- False Teeth Liquid Lunch
- Two Sandbag Bulldog Clip Rip (2x 4 clips)
- Tennis Ball Ace Accelarator (4 balls)
- Full Plate Wasabi Crackers (12 crackers, stuffed all into mouth and spit out =>failed)
- Electric Teatime (pour in 5 glasses of tea with TENS)
- 60s Manchurian Marshmallow Munch (1 per candidate)

extremely nasty:
Cactus Cannon

note:
During Cactus Cannon one cactus hit the face (with protective goggles). The candidate had heart stickers on nipples. The showed how 2 big pricks were pulled out. In "Tennis Ball Ace Accelarator" the musculous Parham-San flexed his sixpack abs; his jockstrap had a heart sticker.


episode 2.14

location:
library

team:
- Jan-San alias The Lobster
- Martin-San alias Swift Foot
- Dominik-San alias The Organiser
- Baffo-San alias Pitbull Venegance
- Sebastian-San alias Cupcake

tasks:
- 45s Hot Top Swap
- Dogs' Diner (2 meat paste jars, wire-haired dachshund)
- Four Flipper Spank
- 30s Hot Wax Monsoon (3 cylindric red candles)
- Marble Mousetrap Mayhem (4 marbles)
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- Electric Soup (tomato soup, TENS at hand)
- Four Hair Nostril Pluck
- 15s Dumbo Machine (stones weight in total 2.17kg, green clips)
- 90s Manchurian Marshmallow Munch

note:
During "Marble Mousetrap Mayhem" the candiate first managed to precisely get out 2 of the 4 marbles, but then the glass stack collapsed.


episode 2.15

location:
church

team:
- Saskia-San alias Cuff-Lynx
- Gabriele-San alias Tiger Talons
- Paria-San alias The Black Widow
- Rebecca-San alias Bat Out Of Hell
- Jasmin-San alias Poison Ivy

tasks:
- 30s Gourmet Grub Lunch (keep 3 living earthworms in mouth)
- Double Goat Foot Torture (2 lightly coloured goats, licked strawberry yoghurt?)
- Marble Mousetrap Mayhem (5 marbles from 16)
- 45s Bugs Blouse (locusts)
- Bee Honey Dive
- Electric Gardening (vase with red-white roses)
- Tramp Pasta Kiss (wavy ribbon noodles, failed by disgust)
- 30s Onion Glasses (2 red funnels)
- Quadruple Buttock Bash
- 60s Tantalising Tights Torture

note:
All 5 candidates were women. After "Bee Honey Dive" an old man tasted the honey =>Zen master cussed at him.

words of the Zen master:
"Physical pain is the truest test for any Zen pupil... and the constructions are cheap to build."

___________

In January of 2011 the broadcast of the TV station MTV on German free TV was cancelled completely.

Allegedly this happened by the lack of advertisement profit due to decline of TV quota - MTV as the music television better should have set new standards with well moderated backstage reports about indie bands and scene culture (in the manner of Arte's "Tracks") - quality sells. However who instead decides to broadcast of all such a cynical inhumane gameshow as a continuous repeat loop, had to learn to understand that causes make effects... Nobody escapes his karma.

The Fist of Zen repeat loop was later still broadcast on German VIVA - fortunately so latenight, that at least children should not watch it accidentally.

MAY THE SOFTWARE BE WITH YOU!

*============================================================================*
I                  CYBERYOGI Christian Oliver(=CO=) Windler                  I
I         (teachmaster of LOGOLOGIE - the first cyberage-religion!)          I
I                                      !                                     I
*=============================ABANDON=THE=BRUTALITY==========================*
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